Stephen Stakey's Valedictory Speech, May 2007

Stony Brook University lost a star Friday with the death of Stephen Stakey, a freshman who was everything you want a college student to be: bright (an Honors College Student), involved (he drummed with the marching band), and engaged in his educational experience. Elisa Pappalardo, a friend of Stephen's, posted his high school valedictory speech in a Facebook forum this weekend:

What does it mean to be a valedictorian? The American Heritage Dictionary defines a valedictorian as, "The student with the highest academic rank in a class who delivers the valadictory at graduation." However, I don't think that the definition is entirely correct. Being a valedictorian however, I think, is more representative not of a single number, but of the high school experience and the lessons learned. Given the privilege to make a few comments here, I would like to share a few lessons that I've learned throughout the years here at Mattituck.

First challenge yourself in both high school and in life. While it may seem easier to take the easy way through life, perhaps the greatest satisfaction can be found by challenging yourself. A case in point: academics. Advanced Placement courses are sprinkled into the curriculum at Mattituck. Year after year, one can predict the students who will be in each class. What if, perhaps, someone were to come along and join a certain AP class because of a strong interest in the subject and perhaps not get the best grades in the class and, in turn on the AP exam. The question, however, is, who is happier? The student in every AP class and does well on each exam, or the student who steps up to the plate and challenges themselves solely out of self-motivation?

I admit it. Perhaps I am a little addicted to school. Staying up to all hours of the night doing homework making sure that I have all of it completed for the next day. Do I get stressed? Not at all. I am fully aware that all this is a choice. All it takes is a little relaxing music and I could be learning and studying all night! Fortunately, this has brought me to where I am now and I have no regrets about what I have accomplished.

This leads me to my second lesson that we should not put or focus on the end result but instead savor the journey to the end. Sure I still remember my first day of kindergarten, and to think that it was nearly thirteen years ago. Thirteen years. Nearly three quarters of our lives have been spent enrolled in school!

As time goes on, it seems we all find favorite teachers, and memories that we will never forget. Still somewhere along the line, we can become disillusioned by taking all this for granted. It is this disillusionment that we must voluntarily end to enjoy life.

More recently, we have all have had to decide what to do with our futures. Where should I go to college? What should I do? Will they really accept me with my grades like this? These are just a few of the many questions that fill our minds as juniors and seniors. Of course, these are important questions, but should they completely occupy our beings for a year and a half? Sure we have deadlines, but how about taking time to stop and smell the roses? Its easy to end this stress if we just focus on life's little pleasures perhaps it is a day spent at the beach, a favorite poem, time spent with friends, or even calculus, if its your thing.

Whoever said that ignorance is bliss must have been awfully ignorant himself. How can you enjoy life without being involved? So to everyone, and especially the Class of 2007, never be afraid to take on life's challenges, but at the same time, never forget to take time to enjoy life.

I didn't know Stephen; it's impossible to know all of our students. But Stephen obviously touched people in a big way, as evidenced by the outpouring that I've seen from his friends. All of our thoughts are with his friends and family at this time.